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What can you learn from your past

Yesterday has gone forever, you can keep moving forward or you can live with the regret, the worry, the self-sabotage and horror.

Or, you can evaluate and learn from it, let is go and face your future with more optimism. If you keep replaying the past like a movie in your head it
will literally drive you mad. What has happened had happened and there are some things that you can’t change.

This is an exercise that you can repeat again and again until you are able to move forward. It’s important to realise this to help you, face your fears
and worries, and feel the emotions so that it doesn’t drag you down. It’s not how heavy the load is but how long you carry it for. Turn emotions and
hurt into empowering energy

  • What situations do I get stressed?
  • How have these events affected me physically and mentally?
  • Who do I turn to when I am distressed?
  • Who supports me?
  • Who drags me down and is actually not helping me?
  • What have I learnt about myself during these difficult times
  • Have I helped others through a similar experience? And what advise do I give that I should also do?
  • Am I more hopeful and optimistic after this analysis?

What doesn’t kill you makes you stronger. I want to teach you how to not just survive but to prosper. Become a strong survivor not a victim.

Forgiveness

It’s one of the greatest gifts you can give yourself it to forgive. Forgive everyone. You are relived of carrying that
burden of resentment. You really are lighter. You feel lighter. You just drop the weight.

It takes a strong person to say sorry, and an even stronger person to forgive. When you forgive you won’t change the past, but you sure do change the future.

Forgiveness doesn’t excuse their behaviour. Forgiveness prevents their behaviour from destroying your heart. I never know how strong I was until I had
to forgive someone who wasn’t sorry, and accept an apology I never received. It’s not something you do occasionally but is a permanent attitude. It
is unlocking the door to set someone free and realise you were the prisoner.

It is empowering to show forgiveness and grace to someone who doesn’t deserve it.

Where the pain, anger and sense of loss cause stress, disease, disability, dysfunction or distraction, there exists an opportunity to transform or channel
the pain and anguish toward productive and positive outcomes. With or without forgiveness.

 

Resilient people own the situation and decide the outcome ….

 

Love Mikayla

 

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How Resilient Are You?

Life is full of changes and challenges and the more resilient you are determines your ability to bounce back and manage coping with the ups and downs of
life. Being stretched allows you to grow and be more accepting of change.

Resilience helps us deal with stressful situations, crisis, trauma,
death and adversity. It is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity. This is important because it is how you behave and act during the
crisis and chaos as well as how you view the event after is what matters.

Have you felt stretched and unable to cope under pressure? We all face challenges daily and our ability to get through them strengthens you or brings you
to your knees.

How do resilience people act:

  • They have learnt to see an opportunity in every event
  • Become accepting and aware and acknowledge that change is part of life
  • Be realistic and see other view points
  • Look after their body, mind and spirit with exercise, eating properly and know that you are more than just your thoughts
  • Self-confident and not self-sabotaging
  • They have a support network of friends and family and spend time with others
  • Learnt communication skills
  • Acknowledge you are human and not perfect, self soothe
  • Take action, figure out your desires and work towards them, any set back is just temporary
  • Talk to someone and get help, we all need help
  • Have an attitude of tolerance, acceptance and flexibility

Signals you are NOT resilient:

  • Can you be in control, adapt to change and strive not just survive?
  • Do you think you have control over your life or do you blame others for problems and lack of direction?
  • Can you solve problems?
  • Are you a victim or a survivor?
  • Is your life on auto pilot?
  • Are you comparing yourself to others?
  • Are your kids doing anything else but what you asked them to do?
  • Are you living in fear?
  • Do you lack commitment?
  • Do you crumble or rise?
  • Are you rigid or flexible?
  • Do you take what you think you deserve or do you take action to achieve your goals?
  • Do you get frustrated, angry and have problems wherever you go no matter what you do?
  • Do you hate change with enough passion to keep holding on to emotions that don’t serve you?
  • Living in the past and worried about the future?

When you are Resilient you won’t ……

  • Waste energy on negativity – being angry, grumpy or bad tempered is not going to change a situation.
  • Live in the past, worry about the future or envy others as these are toxic emotions that you don’t want to manifest in your body
  • Keep reliving the adversity as it is just short term. You are not your scars.
  • Shut yourself away and get trapped in a downward spiral and self-sabotage
  • See just the problem but find multiple solutions. Look outside the box. Take off the rose coloured glasses
  • Live with regret, your actions have consequences, be control by your impulses to rage, shout, drink or smoke
  • Let time heal. Emotionally resilient people realise that life is full of ups and downs. It’s not the weight you carry that is the problem, but how
    you hold it and for how long
  • Allow a day to pass without laughter. You can’t frown and laugh at the same time. Laughter reduces the stress hormone called cortisol and increases
    endorphins.
  • Have the need to be right but chose to be happy instead
  • Give up and what is important to you. You will have clearer dreams, goals and desires. Set backs are there to remind you if you goal is truly important.
    Accept failure as part of the journey.
  • Allow your ego to control you, be cocky or over confident
To help build your resilience I have created a fun calm quiz. Take the quiz and
sign up for tunz of useful tips that you can implement daily to help you. 

Life is a journey not a destination.

Love Mikayla

 

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Why is Resilience Important

Resilience can be learnt and is a skill we are tested on many times
daily without us realising it. Unfortunately, the path to becoming resilient involves considerable emotional distress. You are facing chaos already
so you might as well have some key vital important skills to deal with life.

Simply put, resilience is about your thoughts, behaviours and actions that can be learnt, refined and developed. You do not learn new skills in the midst
of a crisis, developing the skills prior to needed them is your life saver and personal strategy.

The great news is it can be fun, simple and easy to learn. There are many varied strategies. The key to developing resilience is to try these strategies,
find what works for you and remember that it is a personal journey. We all react differently to the same perceived stress.

Many factors contribute to building resilience. There have been many studies that show you can increase your resilience by having:

  • Loving supporting relationships with friends or family
  • Your ability to make realistic plans and goals and them stick to them to carry them out
  • A positive view of yourself
  • Confidence within yourself
  • Know your strengths, weaknesses and abilities
  • Communication and problem solving skills
  • The ability to face your feelings and manage them and your impulses

Resilient people face life’s challenges head on, not falling into
despair and unhealthy coping strategies which can include drugs, alcohol, hiding and ignoring the problems and becoming overwhelmed.

What Resilience is not:

  • Just for super heros
  • Given to you at birth my your fairy god mother
  • Something you have or do not have
  • Looking at life through rose coloured glasses
  • Putting you head in the sand hoping the problem will go away
  • Ignoring the issue
  • An excuse to run away
  • Saves for the extraordinary, rich or power people
  • Focusing just on the positives or negatives
  • A pill you can take and adversity will go away

Everyday we face challenges and you can react or you can take one second, think of your sign and respond from a place of calm. This is why resilience is
important. Turn your chaos into calm.

Love and light

Mikayla

 

 

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Example of Resilience

Resilience helps us deal with stressful situations, crisis, trauma,
death and adversity. It is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity. This is important because it is how you behave and act during the crisis and chaos as well as how you view the event after is what matters.

Examples of adversity in adults:

  • Trauma
  • Tragedy
  • Death of family, friend or partner
  • Stress
  • Terrorist attack
  • Tsunami or hurricane
  • Job loss
  • Health problems
  • Workplace stress
  • Financial difficulties
  • Etc, etc, etc

Examples of adversity in children:

  • Being sick
  • Moving house or schools
  • Family changes, break ups, divorce, remarried
  • Change of friendships
  • Conflict with peers
  • Arguing with family
  • Study and assignment commitments

This list is endless and a resilient person is not one that does not have these pressure, or experience stresses in their life. Resilience is all about
how you view the situation and get through it.

Children and adults face adversity. Everyone has different experiences and coping skills. Judging someone on how they cope and how long it takes them to
bounce back does not help as we are all different. Therefore you should also not judge or be harsh on yourself on how you are reacting because you
need to look at the compounding effect and how emotionally stretched you were when more pressure was added.

Factors to consider:

  • What are your current coping skills
  • Degree of the trauma or stress
  • Support available at the time
  • Timing and context of the event
  • Other adversities and additional stress at the time

Examples of resilience is a very extensive topic, check more information Resilience.


Good luck on your journey Mikayla

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What is Resilience?

A simple explanation is resilience means to bouncing back after
adversity. Through dealing with adversity, problems and setbacks it develops resilience.

The dictionary states that resilience is a way of describing the quality of something that goes back to it’s original form after it has been bent or stretched.

Once you have learnt something you can’t unlearn it. After you have been through a traumatic experience you are changed and can’t undo the experience.
One a rubber band is stretch it never goes back to its original form, it is stretched and expanded.

Life is full of changes and challenges and the more resilient you are determines your ability to bounce back and manage coping with the ups and downs of
life. Being stretched allows you to grow and be more accepting of change.

Resilience helps us deal with stressful situations, crisis, trauma, death and adversity. It is the process of adapting well in the face of adversity. This
is important because it is how you behave and act during the crisis and chaos as well as how you view the event after is what matters.

Have you felt stretched and unable to cope under pressure? We all face challenges daily and our ability to get through them strengthens you or brings you
to your knees.

What can seem like mild stress one day can easily escalate when situations are compounded and stacked one on top of each other. Also what might seem like
mild pressure to someone can seem extreme to another person.

Resilience is about maintaining flexibility and
balance in your life as you deal with the chaos. Find your calm, conquer your chaos.

Love Mikayla