Dealing With Adversity
Rainbows are my second sign:
I am fascinated by how they appear and I think they are the most beautiful spectacle nature has to offer. Rainbows are in fact very simple; they are just
a case of optics. In basic terms, we don’t see the white light that goes into a prism yet we can see the rainbow at the other end.
In a similar fashion, perspective works for us. What we put into our subconscious reflects who we are. You can look at a glass and call it half full or
half empty; it contains the same amount of water. I want you to view yourself, life, love and nature differently. Shit happens; how are you going to
deal with it? The author of the following tale is unknown, but it is a provoking story that will hopefully make you think about how you react when
adversity knocks on your door.
Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean? A young woman went to her mother and complained about how hard her life was. It seemed as if as soon as one problem was solved a new one arose. She said that she did not know how she was going to
continue and just wanted to give up: she was tired of fighting and struggling. Her mother took her to the kitchen. Her mother filled three pots with
water: in the first she placed carrots; in the second she placed eggs; in the last she placed ground coffee beans.
She put all three pots on the stove and let them come to a boil without saying a word. About twenty minutes later, she turned off the burners. She fished
out the carrots and put them in a bowl. Then she carefully lifted out the eggs and placed them in another bowl. Finally she ladled the coffee into
a third bowl. Turning to her daughter, she said, “Tell me what you see”. “Carrots, eggs, and coffee”, she replied, monosyllabically. The mother asked
her to feel the carrots, which she did, noting they felt soft. She then asked her to take an egg and break it. As the daughter took off the shell,
she observed the hard-boiled egg inside. Finally, the mother asked her to sip the coffee and the daughter smiled as she tasted its rich aroma. The
daughter then asked, “So, what’s the point, mother?”
Her mother explained that each item had faced the same adversity—boiling water— but each reacted differently.
- The carrot went in strong, hard and unrelenting, but after being subjected to the boiling water, became soft and weak.
- The egg, that had once been fragile and runny inside the shell, had now hardened as a result of the boiling water.
- The ground coffee beans were unique, however: they thrived in the situation and worked to change the water, not themselves.
“Which are you?” she asked her daughter. “When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?”
Think about yourself, both how you are normally and how you react to challenges:
- Are you the carrot that seems hard, but wilts and softens in the face of adversity? You appear as a weaker version of what you once were, a limp character
without any strength.
- Are you the egg, which starts off fluid, but hardens as a result of the difficulties faced; perhaps a death, a breakup, a divorce, or a layoff? Your
shell looks the same, but your spirit and heart have toughened.
- Or are you like the coffee bean and thrive in the face of adversity? If you are like the bean, you excel and flourish when things are at their worst
and you actively work to make things around you better.
Put simply, things happen to us that we can’t control. But how we react to the situation
will determine our level of happiness. Change sometimes feels like being on a rollercoaster. The ups and downs can make you quite sick and some days
make you want to scream “Get me off”.
Life just doesn’t let you off though, but when things calm down, like the ride finishing, you can reflect on what you learnt. May you have enough happiness
to make you sweet, enough trials to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human and enough hope to make you happy.
The happiest of people don’t necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes their way. The brightest future
will always be based on a forgotten past; you can’t go forward in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
“I am a coffee bean”. That is my current mantra. It is easy for people and books to say “don’t stress” or “go with the flow and great things will come”,
but sometimes it’s impossible to see the light at the end of the tunnel. That’s why we need to work on staying positive and motivated. Zig Ziglar astutely
said, “Motivation doesn’t last. Bathing doesn’t either. That’s why I recommend it daily”.
- Do you feel lost and confused?
- Are you constantly second guessing yourself?
- Lack self-confidence and self-esteem?
- Do you have no patience and snap at the kids?
- Does your heart race and beat so loud and yet you can’t explain why?
- Mental heaviness weighting you down making you exhausted?
- Not sleeping well and constantly tired and foggy?
- Constantly helping others and racing around but have no time or energy for yourself?
- Feel guilty all the time and out of control?
I hope you enjoyed this exert from my book the Road to Resilience. The book is a journey, where
you will discover the keys to being confident, calm and in control no matter what life presents:
- There is a better way to LIVE your LIFE. Stop trying to cope and get by and learn how to move beyond the CHAOS right now
- What would your life look and feel like if every challenge you faced was actually supporting you?
- The Road to Resilience is an easy-to-follow insight on understanding and working with the
innate intelligence of the natural world. In life we will all walk a very individual journey peppered with challenge and confrontation, however,
for each individual and for every different journey there is an ever-connected sub-conscious rhythm of life that when understood can be harnessed
to support us to create and live the life we want.
- If you are ready to get out of your head and tap into the knowingness that life can be more – for you and your family – take a moment to realise
the gift in your hands and indulge in a new way of being – your way of being.
Photo credit www.unsplash.com